


What If I Never Get Over You

by cecemarty



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Grab your tissues, Loss of Virginity, Semi-HEA but not really, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:42:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23889928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cecemarty/pseuds/cecemarty
Summary: After Hermione’s best friend dies from residual effects of a curse inflicted on him in the war, she finds herself falling into a deeper depression and questioning if she will ever get another chance at love. My inspiration was born from the Lady Antebellum song “What if I Never Get Over You” which if you haven't heard I highly recommend you do before you read because feels: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbFj2t9d7Z8
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Comments: 14
Kudos: 50





	What If I Never Get Over You

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta LumosLyra ❤️

  
  


**FLASHBACK**

_ “Mr. Potter, we are sorry to inform you, but there is nothing we can do at this time. The curse inflicted upon you a form of unknown Dark Magic; we do not understand its effects. Unless new research comes about or the person who cursed you comes forward with an explanation, there is nothing more for us to do. We will make you as comfortable as we can to ease the transition.” With a tense nod toward the couple, the Healer turned to exit.  _

_ Hermione couldn’t stop the onslaught of tears that streamed from her already swollen and tired eyes.  _

_ Harry squeezed her hand as if she was the one that needed comfort..  _

_ She threw herself over his frail frame, the jutted edges of his bones doing nothing to soothe the ache in her chest. _

_ Pulling his arms around her, Harry whispered in her ear, “Shh, it’s okay. It’s better this way. I don’t want to live this way anymore, Hermione. You know I love you right?”  _

_ Hermione couldn’t help but sob, barely able to mumble, “I love you too”.  _

**PRESENT DAY**

Hermione approached the quiet and desolate graveyard in Godric’s Hollow. It was eerie and gloomy, a low-lying fog had crept in, coating the area in a white haze. She trudged through the wet grass with practiced ease on the well-traveled path to where he lay. 

Hermione approached the larger of the two headstones. Her fingertips skimmed the names of James and Lily Potter, parents of the man she had loved so dearly, before laying a fresh bouquet of flowers at the base of the carved stone.

Her eyes stung as she looked to the right to see the new addition that lay next to them. It was so new that the grass had yet to grow around the base. A sharp pain cut across her swollen abdomen as every emotion she tried to suppress rose to the surface.

She dropped to her knees in front of the stone, cradling it’s cold and sharp edges in her arms. Her body shuddered with the force of her sobs as she hugged the stone against her. It took a few moments, but she gathered herself wiping the tears from her eyes and finally, and sat back on her heels. 

“My mind healer says this is supposed to get easier, that if I start to accept that you are gone that the hurt will go away.” 

She sniffled, swiping at her still wet cheeks and dabbing her nose with a handkerchief that no longer smelled like him. 

“I just miss you so god-damned much. I am trying so hard to remember the good times we had, but every day I remember you a little less and that kills me.” 

She dropped her chin to her chest, powerless to stop the tears that overflowed her tired eyes once more. When her hand dropped to her belly, the life within gently nudged her and the memory of the night he was conceived came forward in her mind.

**FLASHBACK**

_ Harry held his hand out and lifted her to stand. He removed the locket from around his neck, tossing it onto the cot next to them, to be forgotten about for a while.  _

_ In an attempt to cheer her up, he began swaying his arms encouraging her to dance. It wasn’t until his body was pressed close to hers that she realized that she wasn’t upset that Ron left her because she loved him, but rather that he left his friends to fend for themselves in this gods-awful war.  _

_ The confusing feelings she had kept tightly locked away in her mind came bubbling to the surface pulled her to his chest, her chin resting on his shoulder. He placed his hand against her lower back, and swayed with her to the music that filled the tent. When the music stopped, they stayed huddled in an embrace for just a moment, before Harry pulled away. When their eyes met, gazes bordering on shy, there was emotion in Harry’s eyes that Hermione couldn’t quite place.  _

_ He leaned in to kiss her, but the gentle brush of lips startled her and she pulled away, putting some much-needed distance between herself and her best friend. “Harry-” _

_ He rifled a hand through his already messy hair. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. It was forward of me to assume that you returned my feelings. Just… just forget that it happened.” Harry stumbled, backing away from her, nervously rubbing the back of his head.  _

_ “Feelings? Harry, what are you-”  _

_ “Hermione, it’s complicated, You and Ron-” _

_ She took a step forward. “Don’t exist, Harry. We aren’t a couple. I have feelings for someone else.”  _

_ Harry swallowed harshly, his Adam's apple bobbing along the column of his throat. “Right. Well...” _

_ She slowly approached Harry from across the small room of the tent. Her voice was shaky, but determined as the anxiety she felt fluttered around in her stomach like a tiny golden snitch. “Someone who I am very close to. Someone I have been hiding my feelings from for a long time because I thought he loved someone else.”  _

_ Harry cleared his throat, pulling at the top button with nervous fingers, as though that tiny button was suddenly restricting his ability to breathe. “Well, you should… You should tell him, then.”  _

_ A slight smile graced the edges of her lips, “I just did.”  _

_ Harry ran a hand over his face, his expression bordering on exasperation, “Really? You- You like me?”  _

_ Hermione reached out and grabbed the hand that dangled by his body, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Kiss me again, Harry.”  _

_ She was in his arms before she could take another breath, his lips attacking hers with a ferocity she had never experienced before. It ignited a fire that burned low in her belly. There was something so wonderful about the feeling of his arms wrapped around her, strong hands settled against her bare back underneath her shirt, and his lips pillowing against hers. If this is how it felt, she could easily snog him for hours just to chase this moment of happiness.  _

_ All conscious thought evaded her when he moved to unbutton her trousers. “Can I?”  _

_ She nodded, beginning to loosen the buttons on his shirt. It parted to reveal his chiseled chest, carved by years of quidditch. _

_ The couple fumbled awkwardly with their clothing, in an unfamiliar dance of their own. New heat bloomed as Harry’s eyes dragged over the length of Hermione’s body. She reached for him, placing a soft kiss on his lips.  _

_ She gasped as a sharp twinge signaled the loss of her virginity as he sheathed himself within her core. He stilled for a moment with a groan as his forehead dropped against hers. It seemed to be as much for his own composure as it was for her to adjust to the new sensation.  _

_ He panted soft puffs of air that tickled her cheeks, “Gods Hermione. I’m not going to last, I will make this up to you I promise, it’s just a new-” _

_ She interrupted him with a kiss.  _

_ As he rocked within her, she forgot all about Ron, about the war, about everything.  _

**PRESENT DAY**

“I found out the gender today. Of course, it’s a boy,” she smiled with a soft chuckle. “I went to a muggle healer for what they call an ultrasound to see a picture of the baby. I swear, he is going to look just like you, Harry.” 

The sobering reminder that her son would grow up without his father caused the tears to come back, spilling over her red-rimmed eyes and down her flushed cheeks

“I just can’t imagine how hard this is going to be without you here with me. I keep thinking about the night you passed and how peaceful you looked. But then I realize that when you left, you took a huge part of me with you.” Her fingers traced the loops and curves of his name.

**FLASHBACK**

_ The couple lay tangled together with Hermione laying across Harry’s chest, drawing light circles over his abdominal muscles with the tip of her finger. “Harry?” she asked as she looked up at him, relaxed in his post-coital bliss.  _

_ He smiled down on her, his fingers sliding through her curls, “Yeah?” _

_ “I love you.”  _

_ His breath hitched and his eyes shone with unshed tears “Thank Merlin.” His arms slipped around her, holding her tightly against him. “I love you too.”  _

  
  


**PRESENT DAY**

She rubbed her thighs with her hands as her lip trembled, “I didn’t want to be a mum at 19, and then finding out I was pregnant right before you died nearly did me in, Harry. I can’t help but wonder if I only had one shot at love, and that was with you and now you’re gone. What if I can’t give our baby a family because I can’t love anyone more than I love you?” 

**FLASHBACK**

_ “Hermione, you need to take a break. You haven’t eaten all day. Come on, let’s take a walk.” Ginny pulled her up from where she sat in a silent vigil at Harry’s bedside.  _

_ The wave of nausea that has been plaguing her for a few weeks came back full force and she ran into the small bathroom adjacent to his room.  _

_ “You are literally worrying yourself sick Hermione! How long has this been going on?” Ginny pressed her temple against the doorframe to the bathroom, speaking in a rapid cadence, fraught with worry as she watched the other witch cling to the loo. _

_ “I don’t know Ginny. A few weeks? I don’t remember anymore,” Hermione groaned as she pressed her cheek against the cool porcelain, another wave of nausea passing over her.  _

_ Ginny gasped, seeming to have completed some unknown puzzle in her mind. “Are you-” _

_ “Don’t you dare finish that sentence. You know it’s impossible The Healers told me I’d never get pregnant after being cursed in fifth year.” Hermione bristled.  _

_ “I’m just saying ‘Mione, maybe you are. You should do the charm,” Ginny implored, her voice softening.  _

_ “Fine! If it will get you to allow me back to my dying boyfriend, I’ll do it,” Hermione huffed, forcing herself off of the bathroom floor on shaky legs, “But when it’s negative, Ginny, you will leave me alone about it!”  _

_ Ginny shook her head, handing Hermione a cool washcloth to clean her face, “Calm down okay, I know you’re upset. Just take a deep breath. Do you remember it? Or do you want me to do it?”  _

_ “Just do it already.” Hermione wiped the silent tears from her puffy eyes. _

_ A flick of her wand and a quietly spoken incantation and Hermione’s abdomen was glowing purple. Both girls gasped.  _

_ “It— I can’t. It’s not possible.” Hermione stood, staring at the fading purple light in utter disbelief. _

_ Ginny sighed, tucking her wand away. “How long ago would it have been Hermione?”  _

_ Hermione wrung her hands together nervously, “I guess it could be anytime in the last few months. Before he was hospitalized we weren’t exactly celibate. it started in the tent—the night Ron left.”  _

_ A hand flew up to cover Ginny’s mouth, trying to hold back her emotions. She knew Harry had feelings for Hermione, and Hermione was one of her best friends, but that didn’t mean she was immune to the sharp pang of jealousy, knowing that they were together when Ginny thought she was waiting for Harry.  _

_ “You should tell him.”  _

_ “Ginny-” _

_ “No Hermione, seriously. He has maybe hours to live. You should tell him before it’s too late.”  _

**PRESENT DAY**

“What if it never gets better Harry? What if I never get over you?” She didn’t even bother to wipe away the tears as they dripped from her cheeks to the ground. 

She heard the sound of footsteps approaching and someone coming to their knees behind her, but she didn’t move. The figure wrapped their arms around her, cradling her and Harry’s growing child. “Come on love, let’s go.” 

She turned and buried her face in his chest, unable to stop the sheer grief that poured through her body. When the man pulled her to a standing position, he tilted her chin up, wiping the tears away from her eyes with his thumbs. He placed a gentle kiss to her forehead, hugging her tight, and resting his chin on the top of her head. “Let’s go home, my Mum’s got dinner waiting for us.” 

“Hush now,. We will get through this together.” 

“But Ron—” the words died in her throat. 

“Hermione love, remember what the healer said,” he coaxed gently, ``You don’t want to go into early labor. Let’s go home.” 

The redhead turned back at his best friend’s grave and gave it a gentle nod coupled with a sad smile, “See ya, mate.” 

**FIVE MONTHS LATER**

Ron pushed the sweaty curls that clung to her forehead aside, placing a kiss on her temple. He murmured against her head, “We are almost there Hermione, a couple more pushes and he will be here. You are doing so well.” 

She panted from the exertion, tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. “I can’t do it, Ron, I can’t” 

“Yes, you can. Do this for Harry.” He kissed her on the lips this time, grabbing a hold of her hand as another contraction started. “One more push.” 

She groaned, low and loud as she bore down to bring the new life into the world. 

The sound of a high-pitched wail filled the room and Hermione fell back against the pillows on the bed, her chest rising and falling with quick breaths. The healer cast a cleansing charm over the newborn, and a full head of jet-black hair stood up in all directions. 

Hermione laughed despite the tears, leaning her head over to rest against Ron’s chest, “Oh, he looks just like him.” 

Ron placed a kiss on her cheek, hugging her body tight to him, “And we will never let him forget him.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Whew, that was a ride. Blame the song for how angsty and emotional it is 😍 xoxo cecemarty


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